- Don’t try to experiment with $250 worth of sex toys in the space of about 10 hours. Oh, yes… you will be tempted, but at some point you’ll become severely desensitized and wonder if your sex organs will ever work again. The first symptom is extreme crankiness toward the inventor of silicone. The second is a perverse paranoid suspicion that your lover may be related to the inventor of silicone. The third is a sudden craving for food that isn’t consumed from your lover’s body.
- If you don’t heed the above advice, the only cure is a deep rejuvenating sleep and several days of actively refusing to consider the sexual implications of each and every item to which you are exposed. Force yourself to quit thinking of new uses for feather dusters and shower mats! Not to mention staplers and scotch tape.
- A girl’s best friend is her dropcloth. Before you embark on your erotic adventure, dig up an old heavy quilt to drape over your expensive and easily-soiled sheets. It’s like birth control, you’ll be glad you thought of it in advance.
In closing:
The only sex worth having is sex with a really communicative, considerate, fun partner. As it turns out, I had as much fun with $0 worth of sex toys as I did with $250. That said, there’s still no one other than my Daddy Dom, that I would rather blow a quarter of a thousand dollars with.
~Kitten
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