This is something that has been in my mind about the spanking corner of the BDSM world. It comes from watching people in the public scene and their reaction to things around them. When compared with people who would consider themselves part of the larger BDSM scene, are people into spanking more conservative?
I don’t mean politically. I lean to the left of the political spectrum but consider myself a practical liberal because I can couch my arguments in terms of what makes sense rather than attaching them to a moral argument. As far as morality goes, I’m pretty much a libertine. There are certainly codes of conduct and societal norms that I adhere to but I pick and choose which ones. The ones I don’t subscribe to, whatever they may be, provide me no sense of guilt when broken. I don’t consider it right or wrong, I just consider it the way that I am.
When I’m at Paddles, I often notice that the people who are into bondage or leather or pain or knifeplay, etcetera, often have a relaxed demeanor about them when engaging in their activities and watching what goes on around them. I don’t mean they agree or understand all sorts of play but they seem unfazed enough by what goes on around them to give off an air of cool detachment. They accept others for what they are whether it is their kink or not. For some reason, spankos or spanking enthusiasts come across to me as less willing to experience things with the sense of wild abandon I notice from others.
I certainly don’t mean everyone. I’ve met spankos that are very free with what they do. My wife and I tend to be in the wild abandon camp when it comes to things. We’re curious about trying things, playing with new people and being exhibitionists — it’s what we are. Pretty much nothing phases us. I’m talking about the kind of person that I pejoratively call a “purse clutcher” — the term applies to both genders. These are people that have a demeanor of fright about what’s going on around them and act as if they could have never contemplated certain things. For example, as an adult, I’ve seen what a penis looks like. I’ve seen what other people’s penises look like. It’s not a surprise to me because, for Christ’s sake, I’m 46 years old. If seeing a naked man or woman is going to be that much of a shock to me then I must have been living in a cave my whole life. I see the sometimes horrified expressions on the faces of spankos when (gasp) something different happens that I wonder if these folks are transplants from the Victorian era plopped into my world.
Again, I’m not talking about everyone who is a spanko. But there are that visible group who seem to not only be shielded from what they consider “disturbing” sights but also seem to need their hand held at every step of the way lest they put a foot down on a spot they’re not “supposed” to trample. I think this tends to be the biggest hurdle for some people going out to a place like Paddles even on a spanking only night. They have this sense of the way things should be and god forbid that they see something out of the ordinary. I’ve seen people become incensed when the video monitors at Paddle show a scene with penetration. Really? Penetration is something you didn’t know about until that moment? Odd.
Maybe I’m jaded or my libertine nature does not allow me to be shocked by anything. I really do want people to go out and have fun because the more fun they’re having, the more fun I’m having. Feel free to disagree with my assessment.
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