It’s been a hard week filled with good and bad. I am a lucky woman. I have some amazing people in my life and the fact that I am so blessed sometimes scares me. I am scared of it all being taken away. I feel silly talking about it now because the zen thing to do would be to enjoy, be happy and just bask.
My grandma tells this story… she was out in a friend’s orchard with the family, picnicking. As they sat there eating, a dog comes by. In that area, the dogs are semi-stray. The farmers feed them but they are not pets. They fend for themselves as well and when they aren’t out on their own they stick around and guard the area. So my grandma, seeing the dog, throws him some food at which point the dog grabs it and promptly runs in a corner and buries it. Then he trots back and stares expectantly. My grandma throws him more food and he performs the same routine. This gets repeated quite a few times and the dog never takes a bite of anything, opting to save it all for later.
I feel like that dog. Like sometimes, I get so scared of future I completely forget to enjoy today. I’d like it to be otherwise and I am slowly teaching myself to live life with more tranquility.
That aside, did you all see canucks kick American butt in Olympic hockey? Our girls and our boys did us proud! The men’s game was really a good match to watch too. We were on the edge of our seats the last half an hour. Now you think having an American around the house to tease and taunt would be fun but Luke wouldn’t play. He thinks Olympics are frivolous and over rated and he simply met my taunting with, “I am glad Canada won.” The man can be so aggravating!
Otherwise, I am so bogged down with work that I can hardly look up. I’ve been dreaming of sucking Luke’s cock and we just don’t have enough time. When I have a moment he is busy. When he finishes up, I am sleepy. It’s just ridiculous. I have been so focused on my desire to suck his cock that today I was in passing telling him I liked his cock and he asked, what do you like about it, and I replied that I love how the skin moves over the shaft when I suck it. He countered with, “how about the way it stretches your cunt open” and for a second there I was thinking what?!!!. And a split second later it occurred to me that yes, his cock can also be used for fucking my cunt and not just my mouth. I suspect I have an oral obsession.
Long and short of it, I have to clear my schedule. Can you believe I still have not received my spanking related birthday surprise I was promised? And I need to be hurt so badly. I want his hands on me not in the nice blissful way. I want to feel how hard and heavy his hands are. I want him to be cruel. I need him to make me scream. I NEED it. The little masochist girl in me is getting close to start begging for it. And I hate begging for it. It’s one of the very few things that still have the capacity to make me shy. But I can’t help it. Any second now I am going to make a tray of a ginger plug, his biggest butt plug, nipple clamps and his belt then strip naked, go down on my knees and kneel somewhere noticeable and wait for him to ravage me.
Puhhhhleeeeeeaaaaaaasssse. Hurttttt meeee.
Ok, that’s just sad.
*laughing*
You know what is stoking my fire by the way? I usually tend to maintain a slow burn for a long time without complaining. What is making it worse is that he wants to hurt me and I can see it in his eyes and feel it in the way he touches me. He wants to bruise me and when he wants, I go into a frenzy. He can give me a hungry look and walk away and I go from a mild state of horny into wet, flushed and begging for it in 2 seconds. His desire is my aphrodisiac.
Ok, I am going to go schedule myself some sex. Or at least a blow job and a spanking.
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