This past week has been beautifully documented by Jenn. My twin and I have both been very proud of her for sharing her torment with you on the blog ,at times as it occurred, and always when told. She suffered her many surprising indignities and humiliations of the weekend with great grace and many orgasms.
Now what? I don’t know. We fly by raw emotion only. I don’t know word one about bdsm so scene politics mean shit to me. Find the tender points and thread the hooks. The blood in the water is so pretty this morning. Thank you, Mine.
I haven’t decided yet how I feel about Lick My Legs. They sell a variety of print t-shirts and dresses, all in vanilla cuts and styles, that have kinky prints on them, a nod to kinky couture.
With T-shirts featuring nipple clamps (right) and dresses and shirts featuring girls in ball gags (bottom) the vanilla clothing style is undercut by the graphic fetishistic images on the clothes themselves.
Prompt: I want you to write a post listing the things you are actively doing to try and make the best of your time in TX.
This is my first writing assignment in months. While I cannot stand the writing prompt, I will make a sincere attempt to have this be as honest and introspective as I possibly can.
For the last two months, I have experienced a heightened level of depression and anxiety that didn’t start until we moved to Texas.
The depression has been the worse it has been since high school. I’ve been frightened and worried about my mental health for weeks.
Now that Master & I are settled into O/our apartment, the depression is slowly ebbing away, with the anxiety reluctantly following.
The main issue I have with this prompt is not the fact that these types of writing prompts, but the fact that due to the shift I must work, it makes it extremely difficult for me to do anything I want to do.
So, I will make my list. But unless my schedule changes to something that would benefit my life better (like Monday-Friday 2am-11am for example), I’m stuck.
I’ve looked for concerts that would interest me. As my primary nonhuman love is music, and I love going to concerts, this one is a no brainer. Knowing I will have to work tomorrow night while Muse, one of my favorite bands of all time performs in Houston, just kills me. I guess I’ll just have to wait until Warped Tour at this point. =[
I’ve found 2 wonderful dance studios with talented instructors. I have found prices and schedules for classes. My schedule clashes with the majority of classes that would help me grow as a dancer. Go figure.
I have researched the local BDSM scene in hopes that Master & I could attend a munch. As most munches are on the weekend, and we work on the weekends, it’s damn near impossible to dredge up the energy to meet new people.
Due to feeling discouraged by the above, I have also been discouraged from finding bars similar to the ones I danced at in West Palm. Dive bars with indie/electro nights.
What’s the point when W/we are budgeting O/our money tightly to afford more furniture, as well as move O/our belongings? Can’t very well go out and drink all of O/our money at a bar. That wouldn’t really be responsible, now would it?
*sighs* If I wasn’t so exhausted already, I’d consider obtaining a second job. But that’s another story altogether.
This weekend was a whirlwind of activity. Friday night Alderon and i just kind of (as my niece would say) chilled. My daughter went to her father’s until Sunday. We watched TV. We took a late nap. We stayed up way too late watching more tv. i cleaned the place up for the visitors we were having over Saturday.
Saturday came and i woke up in slave mode. i knew that was coming though – probably why Friday was so quiet. i got up, showered, shaved, lotioned, and got myself just the way that He likes me. He put the wrist and ankle restraints on me. He removed my daily collar and put on the play collar. Our visitors came over, and they were greeted by a slave that was completely naked except for the restraints and collar. Later, i was prepared for the munch by having rope bondage tied onto me before getting dressed in an outfit picked out by Alderon.
The munch itself was so much fun! i did get to wear clothes, since it is kind of a vanilla affair. However, He had me keep on the play collar and restraints. So, here i am, in a regular restaurant with a large group of fellow kinksters worrying about the fact that i was wearing rope that was visible on me because of my v-neck shirt, wrist and ankle restraints, and a play collar that has a very large O-ring on it and several chains. The waitress, who is also the manager, didn’t look twice. Thank the Gods that she is used to us. Plus, i think that we all tip well – i’m sure that helps a lot *smiles*.
After the munch, a few of us got together for a play party. i love play parties. i was really excited for Miss Donna to play with me again. i had so much fun the last time that she did. First, i got to watch Her play with Her boy (for those who don’t know – i don’t mean boy as in child – the guy is over 50 – i mean boy as in Hers) for the weekend. That was fun. Another sub and i sat on the floor, watching Her fire flog this charming male and we were drooling over his penis. The other sub and i both have oral fixation issues – but that’s a whole other blog post. When She finished with him, She moved on to one other woman, and then i was next.
By this time, the group of spectators had moved upstairs, where there was another scene or three happening. i was put on a horse (not tied down for a change), and had a fire glove used on me. It was nice. You know how when your butt is cold, a crop, cane, flogger,or what-have-you stings the wrong way sometimes at first? That glove warmed me right the hell up. There was no issue with cold butt. It was nice.
Fire Play by Miss Donna
So was what came next. Don’t ask me to remember it all – i was giggling.
Yes…giggling. Remember that? i said i was a giggler during a play session. i do and i did. i giggling so hard i had tears in my eyes, a runny nose, and so did everyone else! By now, of course, there were other people down there. i didn’t care – i kept watching feet walk by the horse. i’m not sure who exactly or how many…but there were many voices of laughter joining mine.
It was an absolute blast!
Miss Donna used a single tail on me. A lot. i still have quite a few welts that are striping my backside and lower back. Mostly my backside. It was nice. It was stingy. It was like having quiet streaks of stingy pain that lashed my ass, and i loved every one of them. There was an attempt to take an after picture, but it didn’t happen.
i don’t remember much of the ride home. i nodded off a lot. i got home, found some blankets and pillows for our guests, and then fell exhausted into bed. It was 5 am. Up at noon to make coffee and brunch for our guests (Alderon went out and bought some eggs and hashbrowns for me – i somehow got out of a trip to the grocery store AND peeling and shredding potatoes!!!). My daughter came home in time to eat with us and visit (she loves You guys…she really does). Off they went on their way and my daughter and i took our afternoon nap. Sandwiches for dinner (i even got out of making dinner!!!!), did our pre-bed reading, and tucked my daughter into bed.
Then i had more fun!!
Since i was having an oral fixation issue for most of the weekend (and there was a fleeting promise from one of our house guests to perhaps help remedy that situation when it happens in the future – and don’t You think i’ll forget it *grins*), Alderon was feeling well enough to help me out with that problem – for about an hour. Very nice. It was the first time that i used ice while i sucked on Him. He didn’t seem to mind too much.
Then, He tortured me. The energy was intense. Imagine Him kissing, stroking, scratching, pinching, biting, suckling, and every other way of awakening every inch of my skin without the use of toys for more than an hour before any kind of sex actually happened. The energy was intense. He growled His testament of ownership of me. i completely whole-heartedly agreed. It was wonderful. Did i mention the energy was intense?
If you haven’t seen it already, Lady Gaga and B’s new vid Telephone is TOO many things. Chock full of lesbian/gender-bending images, the whole women’s prison context, Goth/BDSM hints, freaky fierce fashion, the femme-fatale enigma, gang signs, some MJ moves, product placement, autotune, some Thelma & Louise energy, a pussy wagon – it goes on. In fact, it is SO many things – a lot of it I can’t figure out. But honestly, if Gaga has a jones for HONEY B, she doesn’t hide it. Shoot….what red blooded female wouldn’t look at Beyonce with the sexy side-eye? Even the straightest straight girl. Love her or hate her, Beyonce is definitely girl crush material and Lady Gaga makes her point here. Beyonce looks positively edible as always (when she rocks that black lipstick, yo.). At least i think she does. And if this is all for show to boost their relevance – I vote YES, it’s working!
It’s been a few weeks since I’ve posted, and I’m gearing up for a few more demonstrations and performances coming up in the next few months! Stay tuned for more details!
In other news, I’ll be celebrating my birthday this year at Torture Garden Toronto – at Toronto’s Fetish Weekend as it falls on the May long weekend! So this is an informal invite to come out and party all weekend with me!
I finally had a chance to shoot with my good friends at Kink Engineering – makers of custom fetish latex gear! I even took home a little gift with plans to make some of my own fetish latex wear! I’ll definitely update my adventures with playing with latex! Adventureseeker2 graciously hosted us at his downtown studio while we messed around with latex, rope, suspension, and some hot shoe bondage! Keep an eye out for photos!
The blog is going to be going under construction in the next few days, please bear with us as we evolve and make this kink-friendly space more fun!
Last night I played with the guy I met last week. It was incredibly anti-climactic. He is 20 years older than me, and is not in the same mindframe. I wanted to just go there, play, and leave. He wanted to wine and dine me, and have intimate conversation. When we were done he asked me what my tattoos meant. I told him that it was personal. And he was just like, well we just fucked, that’s personal. But it’s personal in a different way. You know?
Anyways, so I got to his house, which was in a brand new apartment building, which was kind of weird. It made me think of those people who have like one play apartment and one normal one. Although I knew this was not his play apartment since he had a bed for his 5 year old daughter there in the same room as his bed.
After I got there, he gave me some wine, and we had some awkward and forced conversation. He wanted to order some food but I wasn’t hungry. Then we went into the bedroom. He had asked me to not wear a bra, so I wasn’t. He just took off my shirt and started caressing my torso and breasts and kissing my neck. Here is the thing. Especially in VERY casual situations like these, I’m not into kissing, or intimacy such as snuggles, hair rubbing etc. I just want to play, get tied up, tossed around, teased, a little beat up, fucked and be on my merry way. So immediately when he started intimately kissing me I was weirded out.
Not to mention that, in the tiny bedroom, near his bed, separated by a sheer curtain, he has a bed for his 5 year old daughter complete with pink flowery bed clothes and flower decorations on the wall. FUCKING Weird.
Anyways, so he starts by caressing my breasts, I wanted him to pinch my nipples hard, but he was too gentle. Then he told me to lie on the bed. He held me down and started making out with me. As long as I closed my eyes the making out wasn’t too bad. (terrible I know) Then he tells me to get up and undress. He puts these cheesy wrist cuffs on. They were leather and stuff, but kind of bulky. He attached them by a clip. It was annoying though because I could still do anything with my hands. Anyways, then he put a blindfold on me and started teasing me. He would tickle my clit, rub my vaginal area, and tease my actual vaginal opening. He slapped my thighs a little, and my clit, and my tits a few times. I was a good little girl and kept my legs spread and my hands above my head, even though I could have done anything I wanted really. I was turned on, but it wasn’t like awesome or anything.
Then he shaved me. Which was annoying. He obviously didn’t really know what he was doing. It took a really long time. I mean it felt alright, but when I saw it after I was pissed off. It was uneven and terrible looking. Also when he finished up and wiped me off, he lifted up my legs like he was wiping a baby’s bottom. Then he went back to teasing me a bit. He flipped me over and clipped my hands behind my back. This was more like it! I felt a little better being more helpless. But after just a few minutes, he removed the blindfold and unclipped my hands and pulled me up next to him. He wanted to snuggle. UGH. He wanted me to rub his chest. He wanted me to suck on his nipples. blah blah blah. I obliged. He kept teasing me being like “oh will you get to come or not?” I know guys like this. They always let me come. I tell them I want to be teased. What I really want is to be told NO, you can’t come. But they always let me/tell me to. They are pushovers.
Finally, he removed his pants and had me suck his dick. It was kind of small and circumcised, although his balls were unusually large. I like a nice big cock though, and this was not really satisfactory. I sucked him, then he fucked me. It was kind of interesting when he fucked me, he was doing it from behind. I was on my stomach. He clipped my hands together behind HIS back. I thought that was kind of hot.
Then afterwards, he got me off. I knew it. He was weak.
We awkwardly ate Thai, and he tried to ask me all these personal questions. Just because you fucked me does not mean we are like BFF now! I didn’t have a personal connection, or even a good sexual connection with this guy. Being with him just made me miss G, who has like fallen off the face of the planet or something.
To make matters worse, afterwards he sent me a message that just said: good job tonight. Like wtf! What does that even mean?
This guy may have been a “dom” but he didn’t do it for me. I like to be tightly and intricately restrained, I like to be completely helpless, I don’t like it when I feel like I still have SO much power over the guy. I mean obviously any guy should respect your limits, but within that, I would like to be without choice.
I haven’t decided yet how I feel about Lick My Legs. They sell a variety of print t-shirts and dresses, all in vanilla cuts and styles, that have kinky prints on them, a nod to kinky couture.
